Step One

1. We admitted we were powerless over alcohol—that our lives had become unmanageable.

Introduction

Step One is all about admitting our alcoholism. In a nutshell: I have a mind that tells me a drink is a good idea (even though it's not, for me), and I have a body that gets triggered by having a drink: I just want more and more, even if I'm not having fun, or it's in my interests to stop. If that's the case, I'm not in charge of the course of my life: if the desire to drink hits and I drink, I might never emerge from the drinking life. I'm not in charge of the course of my life, which is in the hands of my alcoholism. (Note that recovery is possible: alcoholism does not go away, but, with the programme, we can stay sober and safe from it being activated.)

Further elaboration

Physical craving

This is what happens when I have a drink: it means I drink too much, in other words so much that I have bad consequences. It happens because I'm 'built differently'. It's not because of emotion, madness, stupidity, or circumstances. Because I'm like that, I will always be like that. That means there is no such thing as a safe drink.

No such thing as a safe drink

The physical craving means that, if I start, not only may I have a binge during which I damage myself or my life irreparably or may even die or cause others to die, I might never come back to AA. I might want to come back to AA yet be unable.

Mental obsession

This is the persistently recurring delusion that a drink would be a good idea. Bad experiences do not eliminate this idea. Bad experiences do not disarm this idea. It may or may not be accompanied by preoccupation with drinking. But at some point it overpowers me and I drink. And then the physical craving kicks in.

Progressive, fatal, incurable

Alcoholism gets worse, will kill me (sooner or later), and is not going away.

Unmanageability

If I have no power, I cannot manage the course of my life. For instance, if the alcoholic idea grabs the steering wheel and drives me into the pub, it's in charge, not me. If I'm powerless, my life is automatically unmanageable. My life is unmanageable because I am powerless. Unmanageability is not about wayward emotions, incompetence, dysfunctional relationships, or disordered affairs. It's about being in the grip of a fatal progression.

The solution is a spiritual awakening

A Higher Power gives me a daily reprieve. Even if thoughts of drinking come, because I've placed myself at the disposal and under the protection of the Higher Power, I am safe. I have decided to do what my Higher Power wants, not what my alcoholic mind tells me to do.

Your experience

Go through the Big Book from The Doctor's Opinion up to page 44 (first paragraph).

Find a few quotations that illustrate each of the above points.

Under each set of quotations, write out bullet points describing how you identify with them.

Discuss with step buddies and a sponsor.

Other addictions

If you're addicted also to drugs, gambling, sexual acting out, etc., this is a good opportunity to apply Step One to these, as well, with very minor adaptations. Talk to your sponsor about these. Make sure your Step One covers all of your addictions.

Turning point

Can you say that you are powerless over alcohol and that your life has become unmanageable?
If you are, you've completed Step One and are ready for Step Two.