This is addressed to both sponsor and sponsee
Introduction
Let's assume that the person wants to stop drinking for good and for all. If they do not ... then that's the question that needs to be addressed. Maybe they will need to drink a little bit more before they are convinced. Alcohol is a great persuader!
If someone wants to stop drinking for good and for all, they have committed to the programme, and they have started the Steps, but they then drink, then here's the routine:
Someone who has committed to the programme has in one sense already taken Step Three: they've turned their will and their life over to the care and direction of Alcoholics Anonymous.
What does this look like in practice?
- Full commitment to the daily programme (meetings, sponsorship, phone calls, fellowship, Steps Ten to Twelve on a daily basis, tapes, reading, prayer, meditation)
- Full commitment to the process of Steps One to Nine (solid daily work)
- Waiving the right to have even one drink ... because not everyone comes back from a slip
- Making the decision that my own 'head' (the alcoholic squirrel mind) is not to be trusted for the time being: I look to my sponsor, my AA friends, and the Higher Power for Good Orderly Direction
Someone who does the above will not slip. Every moment of every day is catered for. It does not matter if a person's 'head goes' (i.e. they are beset by intrusive thoughts about drinking, acting out, etc.) They've decided not to listen to the head and instead to pour every bit of energy into the programme. Over time, the programme does straighten out one's thinking. But wonky thinking will still arise, and when it does, the person has to be committed to doing the opposite of what their head says. They say to their head: 'You're fired!' They get used to ignoring it as a crazy radio station. They laugh at it. They don't take it seriously. Instead: they take the programme seriously. If all else fails, they put one foot in front of the other, doing the next right thing, and blocking out the thinking by repeating a favourite prayer, over and over again, out loud.
If someone slips, something has gone wrong with the above. The person has listened to their head and gone with it.
Diagnosis
Here are some questions that get to the truth:
- Were you doing everything in the daily programme?
- Were you working solidly on the process of Steps One to Nine?
- Do you have any reservations about powerlessness over the first drink and powerlessness after the first drink ... did you see a slip as a calculated risk?
- Who is in charge of your life? Your head (i.e. your own thoughts) or the Good Orderly Direction of the programme?
This will reveal where the problems are.
Treatment
- Resolve any reservations about powerlessness
- Recognise that there is no such thing as a safe slip
- Commit to staying sober forever
- Commit to doing that by staying sober one day at a time
- That means: don't drink, no matter what!
- ... and instead: commit 100% to the programme, as set out above
- If working on Step One:
- Take a 'makeshift Step Three' even though you're not formally at Step Three
- Continue working on Step One
- If working on Steps Two or Three:
- Briefly revise the Steps so far
- Take an 'ad hoc Step Three' even though you're not formally at Step Three
- Continue working on Steps Two or Three
- If further than Step Three:
- Briefly revise the first three Steps
- Retake Step Three
- Then pick up from where you left off
- Have all of the tools available all of the time, including:
- A fully charged phone
- Numbers
- Notes from conversations with sponsors and others
- A meetings list
- AA / spiritual literature
- Prayers
- AA tapes to listen to and the means to listen to them
- At the first sign of trouble (mental chatter about drink, resentment, fear, etc.):
- Activate the tools
- Call people
- Throw yourself at the mercy of the Higher Power
- Pray for the strength to stay sober no matter what
- Get on with programme actions until the thoughts and feelings pass
This never fails, provided the individual is willing.
Comments
Post a Comment