Q: Someone told me I have to be sponsorable. What does that mean?

When I ask someone for help, it helps not to:

- React

- Resist

- Reject

- Reproach

These are the four 'R's.

Denying, explaining, arguing, and defending (DEAD) are also unhelpful.

When someone provides assessment, input, or suggestions I don't like, I say 'thank you', and then quietly consider the material for 24 to 72 hours or so, certainly praying and maybe checking it out with an old confidant who is on my side but not on my ego's.

If I apply what is offered, and it doesn't work, I can also turn to someone else for input.

If two or more people provide the same input, they're probably right.

There is a trap with shopping around for input. Sometimes I shop until I find a view that supports my ego and keeps me trapped in my current pattern of belief, thinking, and behaviour. 

One reason I can respond badly is because the other person has hit a nerve. Two of the most important and persistently relevant pieces of advice I have ever been given in AA prompted me to hang up on the person I had called.

The deeper my negative reaction to someone's response to my question, the more carefully I consider the material.