There are two scenarios I've experienced:
(1) Buddy
Sometimes people want you to be their buddy. They send you pictures of kittens, jokes off Facebook, quotations, book recommendations, meeting flyers, running commentary on their day, gushing flattery, over-frequent expressions of gratitude, and then presents ...
At the first sign of this, redirect back to the programme and be clear about what the boundaries of the interaction are. Almost everyone understands and promptly adheres to this.
Occasionally, someone persists; a second boundary-setting usually prompts a vicious response and termination of the relationship on their part. It turns out that the content of sponsorship was not the aim: the aim was the special relationship with the sponsor. Termination is the right outcome here, because no good comes from special relationships.
(2) Buddy's Blues
There is a song from Follies called Buddy's Blues.
Quotation:
I've got those"God-why-don't-you-love-me-oh-you-do-I'll-see-you-later"Blues,That"Long-as-you-ignore-me-you're-the-only-thing-that-matters"Feelin,
The pattern is this: the sponsee is elusive, evasive, and uncooperative. Eventually, enough is enough, and so you terminate the relationship. The sponsee who refused to do what you asked now bombards you with requests to take them back, combined with every form of manipulation available. Do not relent and reconsider. There is always someone else they can ask instead, and the insistence that only you can help them is untrue. If you take them back, the pattern will immediately repeat. Within a few hours, they are back to being elusive, evasive, and uncooperative. The individual wants the fact of the relationship not the content. This, too, is a special relationship and must be stopped.
Comments
Post a Comment