Q: I'm disappointed my sponsor does not give me enough personal attention. What do I do?

For years, I felt I had a 'special bond' with various sponsors.

Anyone who engaged with the desire very soon disappointed and actually elicited my contempt.

Those were few, mercifully, and the rest maintained a cordial but cool distance.

They were My Sponsor. I was, like, the fourteenth, the fortieth, the four hundredth they'd sponsored.

The relationship is not symmetrical.

Now, they did care about my welfare, but in an impersonal, universal way.

Someone once asked their sponsor, 'Do you like me?'

The sponsor said, 'I am willing to sponsor you.'

The care takes the form of giving their time to instruct me on the programme.

The sponsor is willing to match the individual's enthusiasm for the programme with their own.

In the longer run, a certain warmth can develop, but only once the individual's reliance is firmly off people and on God.

Then, there isn't a risk of the sponsorship signals carrying a second, multiplexed signal below the level of audibility.

A story:

When I was fourteen years sober, I asked Brian, my sponsor, if we could meet for a coffee. He said: You know we're not friends, don't you?

As Violet Crawley said, allies are substantially more useful than friends.

But the relationship with an ally is governed by formal protocols. 

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